Memo: Turd Found on Desk

memo

To: Cherry Bomb

CC: Jane Smith, Captain Sharky

FROM: Charlene Crabass

RE: Turd found on desk

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Cherry,

Charlene Crabass here again. Look, I know you're young and stupid. But not stupid enough to think that it's OK for people to crap on my desk.

Yes crap on my desk. I'm quite sure it was Lola. Guess she got tired of stinking up the bathroom.

Well I've had enough of you and all the other young people around here. I guess you all think it's funny to talk on your cell phones, crap on my desk, and deface my kitty cat calendars.

Well screw all of you. I'm turning you into the new compliance officer. Bet you didn't know we have a new employee (you don't know much, now do you?).

Yeah, well we do have a new employee and his name is Sharky and he's going to INVESTIGATE your ass. Maybe get some DNA from Lola's ass while he's at it.

And oh, in case you're wondering, yep, I saved it. Put it in a very safe place. Like Monica Lewinsky's blue dress, I'm holding onto that. And like I said, it's in a safe place, so don't even think that you and Lola are going to be able to stroll in my office and confiscate my DNA rich crap sample. HA!

Charlene Crabass,

There is one order of beauty which seems made to turn heads. It is a beauty like that of kittens, or very small downy ducks making gentle rippling noises with their soft bills, or babies just beginning to toddle.”